Cooking with Seifer and Squall - Episode 3
by xsilversiren
Summary: Third episode.... *gryn*


Cooking With Seifer and Squall – Episode 3

(AN: Episode 3, back by popular demand. This one may be a bit different from my others but bare with me. I'll be writing more episodes soon!)

Cooking With Seifer and Squall – Episode 3

A short story by: Shiva Diva

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*Opening music plays* 

Welcome to Seifer and Squall's Grandeur Cooking Cuisine Show That'll Teach You That You Can Do It Too With 76 Simple Steps!

Scene is Seifer and Squall dressed in aprons and chef's hats, sitting on a small rowboat in a calm peaceful lake and what seems to be very early in the morning. Both are holding fishing poles and are at opposite ends of the boat.

**Seifer:** Wow hey look Squall! It's our adoring fans! *waves to camera*

Squall: Ay yi yi. *slaps forehead*

**Seifer:** How are y'all doing out there in the real world? *pauses because he thinks millions of his 'fans' are answering*

Squall: Will you please just SHUT UP?! For the love of GOD!

**Seifer: **Why, what's wrong, Squall? You're not at all chipper this morning.

Squall: Maybe because I was hauled out of my warm, comfy bed at 3:00 in the MORNING to come sit in a boat on a desolate lake in the MIDDLE OF NOWHERE filming this f***ing show with YOU!

**Seifer:** *humming* Oh, I'm sorry, were you talking?

Squall: GOD DAMMIT. *stands up and raises his hand to smack Seifer on the head, but Seifer just bends his head over in time and Squall loses his balance and falls into the water*

**Seifer:** *surprised* Squall you should have told me you planned to go swimming! I could have brought my bathing suit and been prepared. *pouts*

Squall: *breaks the surface, gasping for breath* Why in the hell is this water so COLD? *splashes around for a few minutes before submerging again*

**Seifer:** *waits and watches the water for about a minute, then his face turns pale as he notices bubbles coming to the surface*

**Seifer:** *turns to camera* Um… commercial break?

Scene is now Squall and Seifer sitting around a campfire with a tent in the background at night. Squall is wrapped in a blanket and his hair is very disheveled. Seifer has his guitar out and is strumming a very off-key version of Kum-ba-ya.

Squall: *rocks back and forth, slowly* must… keep… body… warm…. *shivers*

**Seifer: ***off-key, strained voice* Kum-ba-YA my LORD, Kum-ba-YA… Kum-ba-YA my LORD, Kum-ba-YA—

Squall: Will you just please SHUT THE HELL UP?!?!?!

**Seifer: ***abruptly stops* Well, If I never… *puts guitar aside* Hmph.

Squall: Thank God!

**Seifer:** … hey Squall, I thought this was supposed to be a cooking show?

Squall: Well it WOULD HAVE BEEN if we had caught some FISH. But now all we have is beans and applesauce. 

**Seifer:** Oh…. Um, hey Squall, I meant to apologize to you.

Squall: What?

**Seifer: **Yeah… cause I know I can be a real jerk sometimes. I guess I should be more sensitive to the fact that some people are just slower and dumber than me.

Squall: ….right.

**Seifer:** No offense or anything, but I know that I am WAY smarter than you. It's just the Almasy genes. We finish everything we begin at the top of our class. *grins stupidly*

Squall: Haha that's a good one.

**Seifer: **Oh Squall I know you're bitter. But don't worry. I'm sure your day in the rainbow will come soon.

Squall: Whatever. Just be quiet so I can hear myself plot about how to kill you.

**Seifer: **Okay! Don't have to tell me twice. *sits in silence for 2 seconds* Hey Squall! I just had one of those things again!

Squall: …an idea?

**Seifer:** Yeah! I think we should make some cooking stuff out of the beans and applesauce!

Squall: Hey that's a great idea! And while we're at it, I'll just walk into a bear's den and shout, "EAT ME!"

**Seifer:** Oh Squall you're so silly! That's why I love you.

Squall: WHAT?!?!?!?!

**Seifer:** Did I say that? Who? When? How? 

Squall: That's it I'm GONE. 

**Seifer:** Squally don't leave me! Ack! I know you'll just run off into that bitch Rinoa's arms and say, "Oh I love you Rinny!" Well I scoff at her and laugh and point because you deserve better! You deserve me!

Squall: NO! Get the f**k away from me you freak! *runs off into the night, screaming*

**Seifer: **You can run but you can't hide! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

*camera turns to director, who looses his tie and perspires a bit* Um, we'd like to remind you that the company does not endorse any of the material shown on it's shows and takes no responsibility for the actor's actions. Heh heh… 

Well well, that was chucklesome. It differed a bit from my others but I still think it's pretty funny. Please r+r. ^_^ Hope you enjoyed it!


End file.
